The couple was 85 years old and had been married for sixty years. Though they were far from rich, they managed to get by because they watched their pennies; and they were both in very good health, thanks largely to the wife's insistence on healthy foods and exercise for the last three decades.
Unfortunately, their good health didn't help them when one day they went on a rare vacation and their car crashed, sending them off to Heaven.
They reached the Pearly Gates and St. Peter escorted them inside. He led them to a beautiful mansion, furnished in gold and fine silks, with a fully-stocked kitchen and a waterfall in the master bath. A maid could be seen hanging their favorite clothes, freshly pressed, in the closet.
They gasped in astonishment when he said, "Welcome to Heaven. This will be your home now."
The old man asked Peter how much all this was going to cost.
"Why, nothing," Peter replied. "Remember, this is your reward in Heaven."
The old man glanced out the window and saw a championship golf course, finer and more beautiful than any ever built on Earth.
"What are the green fees?" grumbled the old man.
"This is Heaven," St. Peter replied. "You can play for free, every day any starting time you wish."
Next they went to the clubhouse and saw the lavish buffet lunch, with every imaginable cuisine laid out before them, from seafood to steaks to exotic desserts, free-flowing beverages and a fountain of champagne.
"Don't even ask," said St. Peter to the couple. "This is Heaven -- it is all free for you to enjoy."
The old man looked around and glanced nervously at his wife.
"Well, where are the low-fat and low-cholesterol foods, and the decaffeinated tea?" he asked.
"That's the best part," St. Peter replied. "You can eat and drink as much a s you like of whatever you like, and you will never get fat or sick. This is Heaven!"
The old man pushed, "No gym to work out at?"
"Not unless you want to," was the answer.
"No testing my sugar or blood pressure or..."
"Never again. All you do here is enjoy yourself."
The old man glared at his wife and said, "You and your FXXXing fat-free bran muffins. We could have been here twenty years ago!
Submitted by our pal Paulie
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